Ready, Set, Go

coaching self care Sandra Butel beautywalk flowers Mexico story San Miguel de Allende Fiji McAlpine David Procyshyn Do Yoga With Me — *Calle de Los Angeles, San Miguel* Photo by Sandra Butel

I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk.

beautywalk is about waking up each day with the intention to search out the beauty in the world around me. beautywalk is my way of sharing what I am learning on my personal journey with anyone who may benefit from my reflections.

Thoughtful in San Miguel

A new month, a new page, a new set of words coming together to make some sense of what I have learned during the fortnight since I hit publish on my last blog post. I sit in the backyard of a small adobe house surrounded by vegetation in various states of dry and greenness, watching Ixtli, my latest furry companion make her way around the yard, finding a place to do her morning business and investigating what the newest developments have been since her inspections of the area last night. She weaves her way to the left and to the right of the various types of cacti, the low growing shrubs, the pots filled with ferns and spider plants and geraniums and other plants I do not have identifying words for. The birds are twittering and the air around my bare legs is cool and clean. The roosters are having a committee meeting about whose turn it is to sound the alarm over this sleepy village on the outskirts of San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.

I pause to let my unconscious mind catch up with my fingers and to let the picture form in my mind of what needs to be shared here today.

What new lessons have come to me in my open investigation of the secrets of good living that I call my beautywalk?

The Jade Sea

Last week, while on my yoga retreat in Chacala, my intention was to focus on the energy that would come from fasting in all its forms. I prepared myself to practice being more intentional and aware of my urges to fill myself up with food, or relationships, or screen time.

As we made our way on the bumpy road leading to the retreat center, I found my hands moving excitedly and my heart bouncing in its shell. I felt like a kid coming back to their favourite summer vacation place. All doubts I had about the investment of time and money I had made to get to this place, just disappeared. How lucky I was to be surrounded by fellow retreatants and a team of wonderful people whose purpose was to take care of all of us. They provided healthy and yummy food, comfortable beds and a beautiful location complete with pool and loungers and the roaring of the sea right outside the dining room windows. That sense of being able to lean back into the supportive hands and hearts of the space and people around us, was so liberating. I felt open and ready to take in the wisdom that would come through a daily yoga practice and the conversations that we would have around the dinner table or on walks in nature.

My first time here was in January of 2022 mere days after my Dad’s passing. I headed off on a last minute adventure, with a photo of my Dad in my hands and the intention to celebrate his life and grieve his passing in my heart. Once again I felt the pull of Chacala and the Mar de Jade (Sea of Jade) retreat center. A jewel of a place with its promises of healing, its beauty and the potential it held of ever deeper understanding and communion with myself and the world around me.

I had been told on several occasions that jade was a stone that would serve me well in my current life and I was curiously drawn towards this beautiful and durable stone and the center that had taken its name. My online research about jade featured words such as Dream Stone, metaphysical magic, connecting with the spiritual realm and talisman for encouraging creativity and welcoming abundance.

How ready was I to bask in the magic of the sublime peace and well-being of this place that held so many promises in its name?

Fiji McAlpine and David Procyshyn on the beach at Mar de Jade.

Advancing

During the first evening’s sharing circle we were asked to share our names and to give a word that signified what we had come to find at this retreat with Fiji McAlpine and David Procyshyn of “Do Yoga with Me”. As I listened to the others I waited for something that would resonate with me; bringing the familiar flush of my truth goosebumps to my arms and legs. There were the familiar intentions of self care and rest and rebooting of one’s yoga practice and some set an intention of grieving a recent loss in their life. When it came my turn to speak I found myself silent; pausing to sense into my body and heart to see what would come up to the surface first. As I opened my mouth in the pause that was beginning to feel too long for comfort, the word “Advancing” came out of my mouth.

Advancing towards what?, I did not yet know.

The Five Koshas

As the days passed I found myself reflecting on what this word “advancing”, meant to me. I found some insight in what is called the Five Koshas. Fiji, being a teacher that focuses on all the aspects of yoga, from the physical to the mental to the spiritual, started us off on day one with her intention to focus our daily practices on the 5 Koshas or energetic nesting layers of body, energy, mind, wisdom and soul. The Koshas are a gift of Eastern Philosophy that were first described in the 6th century BC as part of the path towards spiritual liberation.

I will attempt to share the little I know about them in the hopes that it will inspire new learning and remind us of the limitless potential for the nature of our individual and collective lives.

1: Annamaya Kosha: Physical Body

We started our first day’s practice with a grounding; a settling back into our skin and bone and physical forms; an investigation of the protective sheath that covers all of the other layers of our being. We were encouraged by Fiji in the morning and David in the afternoon to discover what was actually there by focusing on the messages that were contained within our bodies. The groaning all around me was evidence that my fellow yogis were also feeling the pain that had been stored up in our legs and glutes and shoulders as we moved through both our active poses and placed the therapy balls under the gathered tension in various body parts. The focus on our physical body called us all to attention; to each new moment in time, and allowed us to let go of the patterns and disconnection of our everyday lives.

2: Pranamaya Kosha: Energy Body

As we settled on our yoga mats in our perch above the wonderfully active sea below, we were asked by Fiji to identify the invisible energy that animated the flesh of our physical bodies. This Prana or invisible life force of intelligent energy is what allows us to move and grow and form and reform. It is what allows us to unlock the hidden potential within ourselves. In more or less these words, Fiji went on to say that “Yoga is one way to harness this energy and to learn to use it to maintain our vitality and to have a positive impact in the world.” She went on to tell us more about the breath and the ability to both lengthen and control it.

We were told that yoga is not about the pose but is rather about our resistance and the goal of our practice is to find a way to be in that awkwardness and maintain our inner calm and the power of our breath. We were encouraged to let ourselves deepen into the pose and the breath as a way to help us let go of our armour as we softened and opened ourselves to the challenge of the moment. We were reminded of how much our perceptions and energy shifts when we rest in the present moment of the breath. We were encouraged by both teachers to see our job as not only to feel the energy but also to play with it and direct it where it would do the most good.

As I connected to both my physical body and the energy within I found myself making a note in my notebook that was titled “What does it take to write a book?”

Was this jewel of Jade drawing me deeper towards my own creativity?

Was this the “advancing” that I had come here to find?

How best could I direct my energy towards that which would do the most good for myself and others?

In the afternoon as we followed David’s directions and rolled around, with popcorning exclamations of discomfort, on our therapy balls, we were invited to bring our focus towards those spots where bundles of tension had gathered and gotten blocked in our bodies. The intention of putting ourselves into this mixture of pain and release was to interrupt the message that our nervous system had been sending to the muscles to keep them locked in this place of tension and stuckness.

What painful spots did I need to sit with that were keeping me from “advancing” on my writing project?

Now that after more than 4 years my Wrongful Dismissal Suit against The Regina Folk Festival was finally settled, what was there to stop me from stepping into my future and putting my story down on paper?

*No más silencio ,,,* Photo by Louise Smith

The next Kosha that guided me in my quest of “advancing” was:

4. Vijnamaya Kosha: Intuitive Body

This Kosha is all about intuition; that internal awareness and wisdom that lies within us and allows us to see reality for what it is. Fiji reminded us that mindfulness is simply about noticing, without judgment or expectation. It is about being aware that things are constantly changing and accepting that we do not know everything. We were encouraged to meet every movement as if we had never met it before and to observe how we were feeling from moment to moment.

We were invited to move beyond the experiences we have had so far into a space of exploration, imagining and visioning where we could begin to wash away our preconceived ideas, expectations and judgments. Fiji reassured us that we could tap into this intelligence at any time and that we would always find it in the same place: the present moment.

I was reminded here of the coaching concept of “holding the client capable” that urges the coach to allow the client to come up with their own solutions to their problems and to resist giving advice or directing the client in any way.

Could I let go and let that wisdom guide me as I made my way from finding a title, through writing all the chapters and to the conclusion and manifestation of a hard copy of my story?

How could I hold on to the way I was feeling in this very moment going forward?

How could I use my wisdom to have faith in my limitless possibilities?

In my journey of investigation, the final kernel of Kosha insight came from the very depths of our being.

5. Anandamaya Kosha: Bliss Body

This is the core of who we are; the most profound truth of our real selves, the one that lies deep within and amongst all the others. This is where the deepest sense of self-love lies and the surety that we are the true perfection of creation. This enlightened state is a state of being when everything is connected. This is the true nature of yoga that is flowing and vibrating through us. I hear Fiji’s words in my mind’s ear that “We don’t do yoga, we be yoga”.

This is where our vibration rises higher and higher as we move into true integration, or flow, and involves bringing together our practices of body, breath, mind, and intuition. This is where we find ourselves present, whole, complete and blissful.

The Truth Will Set You Free

I feel this energy rise in me as the goosebumps tiptoe upon the length of my arms and legs, the cool air of the shade deepening the sensation and pulling me into the truth of this present moment. That I am much more than the sum of my parts and that there is a deep sense of connected joy within me that urges me to bring my story and my journey forward into the light of day where others can be warmed and encouraged by its powers of transformation.

On February 22nd, 2024, I officially declared to the world that I was beginning the writing of a book about the experiences I have had over the last 4 years that started with losing my job and reputation and ended with me finding my deepest truest happiness within. I stated this out loud and on social media so that I would not falter as the familiar patterns of self-doubt and overwhelm come to visit me where I am seated hands on keys and heart on standby ready to bring my gifts to the world around me. I look forward to the steps of my journey as I create the conditions necessary to keep myself humming at my highest vibrational level, balancing the light and the dark, the work and the rest and allowing for the invisible magic to be made manifest upon the backlit background of my computer screen.

I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk. What is yours?

Resources for Further Study and Personal Growth

Fiji McAlpine offers online and in person yoga retreats and classes as well as many resources on the benefits of yoga on living your best life.
David Procyshyn is a yoga teacher who discovered yoga many years ago in his efforts to heal his own back pain. David is the founder of Do Yoga With Me an online yoga resource and school.
If you are interested in developing your own ability to do some advancing in your own life do not hesitate to reach out to me for a free coaching session. I assure you that developing a relationship with the right coach is a great support in your path towards self-love and acceptance.
My new program From Worry to Worthy offers you an opportunity to investigate your own internal experience of the judge and help you to find ways to connect to the deeper truths of your own heart. Check out the full program details and book your first free session with me to get started. Friends and Family discount applied to all newsletter subscribers and your friends and family too!
If you are interested in signing up for TrustedHouseSitters you can get a 25% discount (as well as pass on 2 free months of membership to me in the process).

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