Hold Fast
Aqui y Ahora (Here and Now) Photo by Sandra Butel
I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk.
beautywalk is my way of seeing the world around me. It is about waking up each day with the intention to search out the beauty in the world around me. It is holding myself accountable and being open to connecting with others whose paths may cross with mine. beautywalk is my way of sharing what I am learning on my personal journey with anyone who may benefit from my reflections.
Retreat
“A brave retreat is a brave exploit”Sentencedict.com
As I prepare for tomorrow’s trip to a beautiful retreat center in a small town along the Pacific coast of Mexico I find myself pondering the meaning of the word retreat.
For some people, the word retreat is tricky because it can imply that we are giving up and hiding ourselves away from the world. It has been my experience that time in retreat is not at all about running away from that which is causing us difficulty but rather it has been about self care, whether physical, mental, emotional and/or spiritual.
Whatever language we choose to use it seems to me as I reflect on the idea of retreating that it is all about letting go of something; whether it be food, or distraction, or the needs of others or the rigidness of being ruled by our rational thoughts. What would pushing myself back from the table laden with food, or taking a break from living life as part of a couple bring to my body and emotional self? What would opting out of non stop mental stimulation and choosing to live life in a more spiritual way bring to my mind and spirit?
I wanted to take the time to investigate this more fully, to see how the ideas that come up resonate with me and with all of you who are reading these words. This whole process of writing and reflecting has become essential to my own sense of who I am and the actions and ways of thinking that I want to engage in to create my best possible life. Please indulge me as I wander down this beautywalk thought experiment. To make sense of all this, I’ve chosen to break down my needs into 4 categories.
New Leaf Photo by Sandra Butel
Physical
Lately Francis and I have been getting more and more curious about the practice of fasting and the benefits that can come from taking a break from food for different lengths of time. Fasting is not a new concept to us and there have been periods in the past that we have delved into 4 day fasts (first day fruit, second day tea, 3rd day vegetables, 4th day broth) or joined the ranks of those who were doing the Wild Rose Cleanse (which included some fasting).
About a year ago, fasting and its benefits came back to me from my brother Steve who enthusiastically shared with me his own experience of the health benefits of intermittent fasting. He was feeling better, had more energy and was also losing weight. Our conversation in his kitchen in Calgary soon resulted in an Instagram feed that was full of all sorts of offers for the ideal intermittent fasting for me by body type or age or gender. While I was pet sitting and travelling in Europe on my own I delved into a 16:8 hour fasting-to-eating ratio and found myself feeling more energized. Another bonus was that my jeans needed to be tied up by a scarf as my body let go of some extra weight along the way.
Our latest learning comes by way of Dr. Mindy, whose ideas we were introduced to by Francis’s older brother Daniel. I won’t go into too much depth here but the main idea is that if we stop eating for periods of time it gives our body the chance to focus its innate energies on healing itself. By letting go of the idea that we need to eat every few hours and pushing through some discomfort associated with hunger pangs, we will be able to let our body do what it does best by letting it heal itself. The benefits are many and are dependent on how long of a fast we undertake. Benefits range from the rebuilding of our gut bacteria, the sharpening of our mental acuity, better sleep, weight loss and with longer fasts the rebuilding of our immune systems and the subsequent healing of deeper health conditions.
My new way of thinking about fasting is to no longer see it as a practice of deprivation but rather one of generosity to my body and to myself. I see fasting as something to dedicate my energies towards so as to show appreciation for my body and its needs. It’s a way of giving my body the space it needs to do its work to get itself back to its optimal level of functioning. The practice of fasting has also been shown to improve our relationship with food. It helps us make clear choices on what, when and how much we need to eat in order to reach our peak potential.
“Fasting is not done to manipulate anything, the body does all the work by itself. Fasting is done out of a deep and sincere desire to heal and it is done in the spirit of faith in our ability to overcome the difficulty that directed our attention towards fasting in the first place. It is a deeply personal and somewhat humbling process during which one gets to face things about oneself that are not so easy to face. Fasting is a DISCIPLINE. To practice it takes courage, determination, knowledge and faith.”
Dr. Ed Zullo and Anna Kwiecinska, Wellspring Acupuncture Centre
Mental
So how does this idea of fasting apply to my mental life? How do I show appreciation for the work of my mind and stop indulging in practices that leave the mind unable to operate most efficiently?
This reminds me of the process I went through to “break up” with my phone. Putting the phone down was essentially giving my brain a break from the constant stimulation of social media, news, and other people’s opinions. It gave my brain a chance to engage in healthier practices that nurture the building of new neural pathways. Practices that help us to get out of the ruts of old, largely fear-based thinking.
While I was pretty dedicated to the steps outlined in Catherine Price’s book “How to Break up with your Phone”, in the last 4 months of travelling through Asia with Francis I found myself falling back into many of my numbing practices.
Now it is time to get back to giving my brain the space it needs to daydream,which is according to many scientific studies, the place where true creativity lies. It’s also time to rest, which in itself is of great benefit to our brains and our productivity too. My goal is to spend less hours interacting with the world through a screen and more time in mindful presence with what is actually happening IRL.
“Breaking up with your phone is an act of self-care. By consciously taking the decision to disconnect, we are prioritizing our self-care and allowing ourselves the space to engage with the present moment, foster genuine relationships, and cultivate our own mental clarity and peace. Breaking up with our phones becomes an empowering act, asserting control over our own lives and reclaiming our personal freedom and happiness.”
Catherine Price “How to Break Up with your Phone”
One step at a time Photo by Sandra Butel
Emotional
“If you're brave enough to say 'goodbye,' life will reward you with a 'hello.’”
This concept of giving the body a break from consumption and digestion, can also serve as a useful metaphor for the behaviours that will help me build a strong and vibrant romantic relationship with my significant other. After 4 months of travelling together in Asia and being together 24-7, mostly in fairly small rooms, what would the benefits of doing a two week relationship fast be for Francis and I?
So if I were to compare taking time away on retreat with fasting, what positive benefits would leave my emotional self stronger? Would time on my own give me a chance to find my own sense of internal balance? Would I get back to listening to my own gut as I moved into a quiet space where my own instincts and desires could again be heard? Would this practice of relationship fasting help me“shed” some of the metaphorical weight I have been carrying in the form of old unhealthy habits? Would this time on my own allow me to rebuild my own sense of self? Would I then come back better able to be a generous and loving partner to my lovely Francis? What impact might this have on him and his own voyage? Would some time apart allow us to be more mindful of and “hungry” for one another when we are reunited again?
Me, and my Honey Happy Together Photo by Louise Smith
Spiritual
“Spiritual retreats allow time for reflection, prayer, or meditation.” Cambridge Dictionary
“In general terms, a spiritual retreat is a safe space where you can experience complete renewal and gain a high level of self-knowledge. During a spiritual retreat, you’ll be secluded in a distant place, usually surrounded by nature, away from noise and distraction. Everything’s planned out for you so that you only focus on your wellbeing.”
Alberto G. Güitrón Tripaneer Blog
As I was doing a meditation with my favourite Calm App teacher Jeff Warren I had the realization that perhaps the practice of meditation was a sort of fasting for the mind and spirit. By taking time to observe our thoughts and letting them go rather than grasping, fighting, or feeding them we are able to create space for a deeper sense of awareness..
As I prepare myself for the spiritual side of yoga and head off to a yoga retreat with one of my favourite yoga teachers, I recall the space that was created at last year’s retreat. The energy was calm and peaceful as we flowed from one pose to another. I recall a room full of yogis, focused and centered with their bodies and hearts pointed towards the view and sound of the sea in front of us.
I am remembering the gift to all of the retreatants that came from giving our spirits a chance to recuperate from the pressures of our everyday lives. and opening up to our deeper selves. With every breath, in and out, we came to find that soft quiet place inside of ourselves that contained all we needed and knew all it needed to know for us to live full and happy lives.
This spiritual type of retreat is not an easy thing to make happen for ourselves. Self-care is still not seen as something that is fundamental to a healthy life. We can be plagued by doubt and fear and a sense of selfishness if we try to prioritize our spiritual development. The Saboteurs and Judge get deeply involved in our decision making process and tell us that this is too expensive and we are too self indulgent. We worry about who is going to take care of the house and children and workplace if we carve out some time for ourselves. I have been in this place of second guessing and discomfort so many times in the past and I often ended up steering away from the profound experiences offered by spiritual retreats.
To get ourselves to the spiritual retreat we have to push through all of the discomfort and focus on the power of our spirit to heal itself given the right sort of space and time to do its magic.
Tree Pose Photo by Sandra Butel
Fasting as Letting Go
My bags are packed and I have left behind a pile of clothing and items that I no longer need to carry along with me on my journey. I have started the process of letting go and am moving towards the next phase of my experimentation with “retreat” for mind, body, spirit, emotions. I head to Mar de Jade today for my 3rd year as part of one of Fiji McAlpine’s week long retreats, (that in reality should really be called advances).
I am readying myself to test this new theory of fasting as a way of letting go. I feel ready to stretch both my body and this fasting metaphor to cover food, technological distraction, and relationships.. I truly believe that moving my body consciously and with intention, can bring me back to those places of deep communion with myself and by extension, with those around me.
I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk. What's yours?
Here I am Here and Now Photo by Sandra Butel
Resources for Further Study and Personal Growth
A few questions that you can ponder in a quiet moment in your day:
What am I willing to let go of so that I might create a new space for my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being?
What do I need to do to see retreating as an active way of moving towards a deeper connection to who I truly am?
What practices will assist me in pushing through the discomfort that may come in the middle of a fasting period; whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual?
Dr. Mindy Pelz is a good resource on the many health benefits of fasting.
Jeff Warren has some excellent meditations on letting go.
Fiji McAlpine offers online and in person yoga retreats and classes as well as many resources on the benefits of yoga on living your best life.
Catherine Price’s book “How to Break up with your Phone” is an awesome resource for how to get some healthy space from our handy dandy devices.
If you are interested in developing your own ability to create real space and time for some integrated practices do not hesitate to reach out to me for a free coaching session. I assure you that developing a relationship with the right coach is a great support in your path towards self-love and acceptance.
My new program From Worry to Worthy offers you an opportunity to investigate your own internal experience of the judge and help you to find ways to connect to the deeper truths of your own heart. Check out the full program details and book your first free session with me to get started. Friends and Family discount applied to all newsletter subscribers and your friends and family too!
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