Altitude Adjustment
Speed Humps Ahead, Santa Fe Photo by Sandra Butel
I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk.
beautywalk is about waking up each day with the intention to search out the beauty in the world around me. beautywalk is my way of sharing what I am learning on my personal journey with anyone who may benefit from my reflections.
Doubt-filled in Santa Fe
Sitting up in bed in my new sit in a 100 year old Adobe house in Santa Fe, New Mexico, I find myself struggling to be awake and alert and to feel the desire to type and to get ahead in the writing of the book that I have set out as my latest challenge. I am feeling discouraged by the relentless voice in my head that keeps saying things like: "Writing a book is too hard!" or "You don’t have a clue what you’re doing," and "Who do you think you are anyways to think you can do this?”
My discouragement turns to panic when the voice starts asking questions like: "Who are you going to get to help you do this?"and "Who can you lean on to give you an easy way out of this discomfort?"
I wonder if this doubt is just another effect of the high-altitude sickness I’ve been feeling here in the foothills of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains.
Or is this something deeper?
Is the dream I had of being an author just a hopeless fantasy?
Once Bitten Photo by Sandra Butel
New Heights
The elevation here is 7000 feet above the sea level I had become used to over the last month near Puerto Vallarta where I had been travelling with my partner Francis. My nurse practitioner friend Debbie told me that this altitude adjustment was a big deal and that it would take time. She urged me to be patient and to give myself compassion and as much rest as possible. I suspect that this will be a time of transition and that I may not be at my best.
What would happen if I were to see this “altitude adjustment” as part of my ongoing “attitude adjustment” and embrace this as another opportunity to practice empathy towards myself?
What would it take for me to be able to rise up to meet this new state of elevation as a gift?
Could this be yet another chance for me to build new skills and learn new ways of being and growing?
Next Level Mental Fitness
The past 5 months of my beautywalk throughout Asia and Mexico have been a kind of higher elevation training for me. Like a professional athlete who trains at higher altitudes I pushed myself to higher and higher heights and challenged myself to adapt to new environments, systems, currency, languages, time zones and climates. Consequently, I’ve greatly expanded my capacity for adaptability and openness, not just for my own benefit but for the benefit of those I connect with through my writing and coaching and pet sitting practices. I’m more able to stay balanced and resist getting drawn into the drama around me. This adaptability training has led to a feeling of calm and presence that has become my Superpower.
A Stitch in Time Saves Lives. Photo by Sandra Butel.
Attitude Adjustments
In the past four years, I have transitioned from believing I was Boss Lady; a Superwoman who was expected to have all the right answers, to knowing deep down inside me that I am Sandra Butel; a regular human focused on asking all the right questions. During this time I have had many moments of positive attitude adjustments in the way I see the world. I have searched out and adopted many practices that have brought my mind, body, soul and emotions out of a space of negativity into the wide open space of love and possibility. I have come to see the challenges of being human as gifts that are being offered to me on the steps of my beautywalk journey.
Low and Slow
Over the last few days I haven’t been feeling that love and possibility at all. Perhaps I am grieving the loss of colour and vibrancy of Mexico. At first glance, Santa Fe seems stark, dry and monochrome. Everything is a greyish beige - the houses, the hills, the leafless trees, the dried grasses. My heart had been so happy and full of song and sunshine amongst the bright pinks and reds and yellows of the Mexican flowers and the high pitched happy notes of countless tropical birds. My body had been zinging with the air and the heat and the salt and the sea, and now I just want to stay in bed or laid out on the leather couch in the TV room, numbing my brain on as many episodes as I can.
So, what is the gift of this time and space for me?
What do I have to learn from my discomfort and from falling back into some unhelpful habits?
De-Fence Tactics Photo by Sandra Butel
Means to an End
While reading Celeste Headlee’s book “Do Nothing”, all about the trap of efficiency and the negative impact of measuring our productivity by the hours we work and not by the tasks we accomplish, I had a moment of insight. I had been mixing up the means with the ends. I had fallen into the trap of thinking that the only way I could have a positive impact on the world was through investing more and more time and energy into the work of building The Regina Folk Festival. At the time I could not see that the work I was engaged in as Artistic Director and CEO was not the end goal but was rather the means. The ultimate goal was much deeper… making the world a better place.
Headlee’s research suggests that we have all been misled as to the true end goals that drive us. We have been taught to see the means of making more money or having a bigger house or a better title or more influence as the end goals of the work we are engaged in. We tell ourselves: “I will happy and fulfilled when I have . . . “ The research shows that as we focus more energy on acquiring things and adding accomplishments to our resumes we find ourselves further and further away from that which brings meaning to our lives.
I had been caught up in this myself, believing that more hours at work would lead to a greater sense of self worth. But I had lost sight of my real end goal, which was to have a positive effect on the people and the world around me.
The World Needs Healing Photo by Sandra Butel
The Meaning of Rest
How does my current “altitude adjustment” relate to my ultimate goal?
Could this period of rest and reduced activity be just what I needed right now?
Perhaps this was the perfect time to implement all that I had learned about the value of rest through the work of Headlee and other authors, such as Alex Soojung-Kim Pan and his book “Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less”. This new elevation could be all about taking an actual “breather”. Through proper rest, I could conceivably find more ease and effectiveness in my efforts to bring positivity into the world around me.
As I began slowing down enough to reflect on my true end goals I realized that I don't need to be in a specific job or do a certain number of tasks per day in order to share my gifts and self with the world. I can do simple things like saying hello to everyone I pass when I am out walking the dog or taking special care of the home that has been entrusted to me while the owners enjoy their dream vacation. I can reserve a few hours a day for more specialized tasks related to writing and offer up my presence in one on one coaching sessions with individuals who are wanting to find more ease and love in their own lives.
Reflections on Love and Possibility Photo by Sandra Butel
Embracing my Humanness
Another part of my focus on means versus goals is to humbly accept that I am, like everyone else, only human and that there will be times when I get drawn into the magnetic pull of entertainment in the form of Showtime episodes and games on my phone. I have read enough books and seen enough documentaries that by now I have a clear idea how difficult it is for us humans to resist the pull of these endless dopamine dispensers. Adding my own layer of judgment onto that fact isn’t going to make the attraction any less powerful.
As part of my beautywalk journey I have come to accept the full range of my humanness. This acceptance has allowed me to let go of the “People Pleaser” that needed everyone to like her. I find myself no longer held back by the limitations of other people’s ideas about me and I no longer feel shame for untruths that others have spread about me. It has been a gradual process of highs and lows and ongoing altitude adjustments for me to embrace all the complexity of my humanness and open myself up to the humanness of everyone else around me. I no longer feel the need to carry what is not mine or to take on tasks that rightfully belong in the hearts and hands of others. I can be there to share myself when the time is right while at the same time knowing that others are capable of doing the work they need to do to make the changes that are needed in their own lives.
Beyond Doubt
I find that as I type these last words, Father John Misty serenading me with his words of love and acceptance, I no longer feel that sense of heaviness that was with me as I started this piece. I no longer feel the doubt of whether or not I will write a book and I remember clearly why I wanted to write it in the first place. I know that, like with so many other difficult tasks I have already taken on in my life, I will find my way from the very first pages to the very end and what I have been calling “My First Book” will find its way into the world where it will add its own magic into the alchemy of all those who are working to make our world a better place.
I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk. What’s yours?
Reflective Joy Photo by Sandra Butel
Resources for Further Study and Personal Growth
Celeste Headlee’s book “Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing, and Underliving” is an excellent resource, full of detailed research on how slowing down and focusing just on what’s most important can help us live more enjoyable lives.
Alex Soojung-Kim Pan’s book “Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less”, is a great resource for learning and practical actions that can lead us to have more productive (and fulfilled) lives.
If you are interested in developing your own ability to expand your lung capacity and find your own “altitude adjustment” do not hesitate to reach out to me for a free coaching session. I assure you that developing a relationship with the right coach is a great support in your path towards a limitless life. If we are not the right fit for one another I will do my utmost to point you towards someone who is.
My new program From Worry to Worthy offers you an opportunity to investigate your own internal experience of the negative voice inside your head and help you to find ways to connect to the deeper truths of your own heart. Check out the full program details and book your first free session with me to get started. Friends and Family discount applied to all newsletter subscribers and your friends and family too!
If you are interested in signing up for TrustedHouseSitters you can get a 25% discount (as well as pass on 2 free months of membership to me in the process).
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