Patty Cake Patty Cake: From Left Brain to Right Brain
Island beautywalk photo by Sandra Butel
I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk.
beautywalk is my attempt to put words around the experience of being a human being (in all of our complexities) on a journey of self-discovery and connection with others. It is my hope that the order and cadence of my steps draws you forward on your own path; each of us feeling a little less alone in the process.
I picture myself as a little kid in the midst of a roaring game of patty cake with one of my friends. Left hand to right hand, right hand to left we recite, our voices joined in a singsong cadence
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man
Bake me a cake as fast as you can
Pat it and prick it and mark it with "B"
Put it in the oven for baby and me
But instead of clapping hands and thinking about cake for me and my baby I am transformed into an awkward anxious adult that is juggling back and forth from the rational, logical, empirical left brain to the emotional, intuitive and embodied right brain.
Left brain right brain what a game
Makes me dizzy and is such a pain
Getting lost in data and out of the frame
Where real life is happening all the same
In the weeds by Sandra Butel
Not much time Left (Brain)
I spent a lot of time yesterday in left brain minutiae and numbness. Francis and I did our taxes and I pushed us to spend a lot of extra time entering in business use of home expenses as well as adding in deductions we had never known about before.
This morning I continued the pattern by investing an inordinate amount of time in setting up Quickbooks, troubleshooting with a customer service rep to get our credit card expenses imported and then coding January’s expenses and revenues into some semblance of order. When Francis asked me questions about it I honestly could not say what the reason was for starting this process in the first place or how, indeed, this invested time was going to make our lives better.
Oh ye rational brain
how you love to draw
me
in
with promises of
numbers in neat lines
contained within 4 walls
of spreadsheet cells.
If I put in a little more time
the totals will reveal a deep truth
something important
something real and tangible
the details deeply necessary
to my human happiness
Hope is a flower by Sandra Butel
20/80 Rule
I am reminded of the 20/80 rule that was first shared with me in my training with Shirzad Chamine. I use this rule with my clients who are dogged by the demands of the Stickler Saboteur, or better known to many of us as the problem of perfectionism. Instead of believing that they can get everything perfect all of the time (100% perfect for 100% of what they do) they are asked to consider the more realistic option of focusing on doing their very best (100%) for only the top 20% of what they want to accomplish in their day, week, lives. I tell them that in order for them to accomplish anything of value the other 80% has to be approached with a casual sort of laissez-faire, whatever happens, happens kind of attitude.
Their first reaction is mostly disbelief that I would even ask them to consider such a thing as not trying to do perfectly at everything they do. I ask them to ponder what would change in their lives if they put their energy into making sure they do their very best at only the top 2 things on their list (instead of running themselves ragged chasing the impossible task of doing all 10 perfectly). The response is generally something in the nature of “I never thought about that before” and “What a relief that would be to let go of so much of what I have been focusing on and measuring myself on for so long”.
I share the research findings and real life stories that have shown that the other 8 things on their list:
don’t really matter
are not their responsibility in the first place
will take care of themselves when they are focused on the 2 that really matter.
I see a tiny opening in the mind of my clients as they ponder the questions of “What if what she is saying is really true?” “How would this impact my life?” “What part of my load could I put down if this was true?”. There is an excitement there, mixed with the hesitation that comes when new ideas first hit the cerebral cortex. We resist the change even though deep in our hearts and bodies we know this change of mind is exactly what we have been craving for so long.
When I remind myself of the 20/80 rule and I pause to ask myself what was so important about tax deductions and/or Quickbooks financial tracking, I am left with a baffled sense of brain fog, much like I experience when I spend hours colouring on my phone or playing Cookie Land on my Facebook page.
It is clear to me that the time I spent trying to get the details right has not led to any great discoveries but has merely resulted in me frivolously throwing away the precious time that has been allotted to me in this life. I got caught up again in trying to do 100% of everything 100% right. I know that this is impossible and after a pause for some self-empathy and a giggle at my human brain and its regular tricks, I focus instead on bringing myself back into what really matters to me in my life.
Fly high land softly photo Sandra Butel
Feels so Right (Brain)
I settle into my chair under the flowering cherry tree whose blossoms are falling like a gentle snow.
I focus my visual attention on the light toned golden retriever in front of me. I see the shine in his eyes and the braided quality of the wet fur on his ears and the front of his chest from his energetic stick retrieval in the sea just a few hours before.
I focus on the sensation of touch as my fingers caress the top of his head and on the cool wet of his nose as he presses it into my hand to nudge me to continue when I pause for a moment.
I listen to the sound of the breeze in the tall pines that surround my latest refuge.
I notice the daffodils and the new green of the leaves on the shrubs in the garden bed in front of me.
I feel as my breath lifts and lowers my chest and stomach and I return into the ease of my body in a bright red chair in front of a handmade cottage on a beautiful island in BC.
I have found my way back again into my right brain essence and again I vow to give the very best of myself to that which makes up my top 20%; being here in this moment and being connected to who I truly am.
This Moment is all I have by Sandra Butel
Self-Reflection
What makes up your top 20%?
What could you let go of today that would free up energy to focus on that which is most important to you?
What practices bring you back into connection with your deeper self?
How can you find more time in your day for these activities?
Important Next Steps (when you are ready to let your right brain drive for awhile)
Learn more about the Positive Intelligence (PQ) program and the work of Shirzad Chamine.
Take the Saboteur Assessment and find out more about the particular brand of saboteur that is getting in the way of you leading your best life.
Reach out to me to schedule a free beautywalk session so we can begin to work together on lessening the impact of these saboteurs on your life and increasing your sense of well being and contentment.
I can guide you through the signature 6 week PQ Program and offer you a space in which to learn more about yourself and what you really need to do to make your life more of what you truly want.
PS. To save 25% on the fee to sign up as a trustedhousesitter use my link. https://www.trustedhousesitters.com/refer/RAF533647/?utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=refer-a-friend&utm_campaign=refer-a-friend
PSS If you are looking for a beautiful tattoo from a very talented woman check out @HaleyGardiner at @honeybeetattoo
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