Slow and steady

grief love coaching yin yoga Niche Yoga Positive Intelligence Tortoise Hare Letting go Sandra Butel beautywalk Regina Saskatchewan friendship Shirzad Chamine — *Looking forward, looking back …* Photo by Sandra Butel

I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk.

beautywalk is all about my intention to seek out beauty wherever I happen to be in the moment.

From Past to Present to Future

As I bring myself to the very edge of discomfort, making little decisions every day of what to keep and what to let go of, I am struck by the wisdom that is offered all around me. Whether it is in the words of a coaching client as she reminds herself of the story of the Tortoise and the Hare or in the 3 point instruction in my latest yin class, there is so much to learn as I move from past to present to future.

The Tortoise and the Hare

The image of the tortoise with her slow-moving steadfastness is in direct contrast with the hoppy distraction of the bunny. Staying close to the earth, taking one almost imperceptible step ahead at a time, the tortoise seems to be doomed to lose the race. The ever ready, always shifting rabbit is filled with speed and bluster and a sense of confidence that he will be the ultimate winner.

What of all the distractions that pull the rabbit away from his sense of direction?
What of the fluff and huff with which he scurries around, making sure that everyone can see him and remark on his superior abilities?

Do, Do, Do

This parable reminds me so much of the work I am doing with Positive Intelligence. The hare is the lizard brain, where our fight, flight, freeze generates a relentless and restless energy. The thoughts bounce up and down like the hare whose fur has turned white for the winter.

I can relate to this need to be doing, doing, doing and to the energy that comes when we are caught in the never-ending cycle of rumination. Just one more thing to cross off my to-do list before I get myself back on track towards the finish line. Of course I have time as I am so fast and so efficient and no one can do this race as well as me. I will take on one more project, one more side hustle, before I set myself back on the path to my liberation.

One Slow Step

The tortoise continues on her way, sure of where she is going and accepting of the pace that is her very nature. She knows that one step will lead to the other and to the next and she puts herself to the monotony of moving ahead a little at a time, never wavering, her courage steady and true. She doesn’t get herself caught up in the thoughts that float around her head as she sees the rabbit circling. She knows that there is no use in wishing to have the speed and agility of the rabbit and that his way of being is not at all for her. She is the embodiment of the sage brain, which is that part of us that holds wisdom and where the skills of empathy, curiosity, creativity, a strong sense of direction (navigation), and laser focused action (activation) come from. If we sit still long enough and let go of the distracted, and distracting, fear brain we will find a place of peace and clear direction.

Surrender

I am on my yoga mat yet again in a place where I have taken refuge so many times from the nervous energy of the “hare brain” within. The first invitation is to lay on our backs, with a bolster under our lower back, (like a tortoise that is letting go of her defenses), and to let our breathing slow and steady as we arrive in the present moment. My focus goes into the muscles in my lower back and hips and a teacher’s voice reminds me to breathe into the spaces of tension. We are invited to focus on opening rather than on resisting and on the sensation of surrendering as gravity pulls our tissues and sinews further into the nest that we have created.

Kate’s words vibrate in the inner ear of all of us gathered here as she makes a link between what is happening in our bodies and what is happening in our minds and spirits. According to Kate, “Yin has 3 steps. The first step is to put ourselves at the very edge of our discomfort, the second is to get still in that place and the third is to pay attention to what happens and to practice patience.” She goes on to say, “It is our human tendency to back away from discomfort, to let ourselves move whenever we encounter it. The goal, just for now, is to resist that temptation and to just give into the gradual loosening that comes when we sit very still.”

Can't Win

I can imagine the hare jumping back from whatever scares him, ready to bounce off to the next, more desirable, destination. This endless hopping and searching takes up so much of his energy and in the end we all know that he can’t win the race this way. I am pulled back into the memory of how my body and heart felt when I was in full workaholic adrenaline addiction mode. I spent many sleepless nights and uneasy days running from one thing to the next, following my fear based thoughts wherever they would lead me.

Getting more flexible

I settle into my mat and imagine the tortoise now, her patient perseverance serving as my inspiration. I feel into my hips and legs and shoulders and I focus on the sensation of surrender, resisting the impulse to shift and move in an attempt to get rid of the soreness that I find there. I remember some more wise words that Kate recited many years ago and that have stuck with me ever since, “Yoga is about getting more flexible, one millimeter at a time.” One mm doesn’t seem like such an impossibility. I visualize the muscles that lie beneath my Sweetlegs covered skin, turning my focus into a laser beam of compassion and love as I encourage more openness within.

A conversation floods back to me where Kate is thanking me for my flexibility in rescheduling an upcoming Thai massage appointment. The groans of semi-laughter are at the Dad joke level as I reply, “Well that is what I am here for, to get more flexible after all.” I get the sense that it is only me who is at this moment thinking of yoga as a practice that goes well beyond the confines of the 68 x 24 piece of rubber upon which we alternate between resting and moving our bodies from one shape to another. I continue to find so many insights on my mat that accompany me on my beautywalk travels.

I am the Tortoise

The insight of Kate’s 1, 2, 3 brings me great comfort in my latest venture. I am back in Regina, right at the edge of the discomfort of what has befallen me here. I am getting still, resisting the urge to bolt or distract or numb (most of the time), and I am leaning into the great depth of patience that I have discovered lives within. I am the tortoise steady and true, moving forward with determination and constancy towards a finish line of my wildest imagination.

Hare Gone Wild

There are moments when the hare’s insistence pulls me in and I find myself back in that place of wanting to “get shit done” as a way to put all of this feeling and deciding and letting go behind me. At these times I have a desire to jump ahead, to skip over the miles of terrain and just get myself to where I imagine I need to be. My Controller Saboteur takes over the show, assuring me that this is what is needed and I push and push to move things forward. There is no ease here and it is soon evident that the more I try to control things the more they resist me. I note the presence of this saboteur, the hare gone wild once again, and celebrate that I caught it and lean into the wisdom of the terrestrial turtle that lies more deeply within.

I call upon my sage strengths of empathy and curiosity and I bring my whole being back to the moment, to the particular awkward shape my body is in. I breathe in and out, directing the breath’s uplift and release towards whatever calls my attention in. A soft smile lights up the corner of my lips and I am one with the slowness of the journey. I am confident that with an innumerable number of slides and the occasional sigh I will get to where I am going.

How can you apply more of the tortoise and less of the hare into your life?
What is one thing you need to surrender to that would make your life easier?

I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk. What’s yours?

Resources for Further Study and Personal Growth

If you are looking for an amazing yoga experience in Regina, Saskatchewan look no further than Niche Yoga & Therapy. The teachers are excellent and the small size of classes leaves room for more depth in both postures and instruction.
If you want to learn more about Shirzad Chamine and his groundbreaking work with Positive Intelligence I invite you to listen to his much loved Tedx talk. You can always reach out to me to learn more or to inquire about getting started. As a Positive Intelligence certified coach I would be happy to talk you through all aspects of what the program has to offer.
My Positive Intelligence based program From Worry to Worthy offers you an opportunity to move yourself from being ruled by the hare brain to being guided by the wisdom of the tortoise brain. Check out the full program details and book your first free session with me to get started. Family discount and friendly barter are acceptable forms of payment!
If you are interested in signing up for TrustedHouseSitters you can get a 25% discount (as well as pass on 2 free months of membership to me in the process).

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