Thanks …
Leaves leaving ... Photo by Sandra Butel
I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk.
beautywalk is a delightful and sometimes uncomfortable adventure that takes us far beyond what we had previously imagined possible, into the wide world of our greatest potential.
Thanksgiving. Giving thanks. Thanks for giving.
The signs are all there. The daily changes of the coloured leaves that whisper in the wind outside the window of my temporary 2nd floor walk up apartment in the Cote Saint Paul area of Montreal. The pumpkins and scarecrows and oranges and yellows of the bouquet of flowers I bought myself yesterday. The halloween decorations that draw my gaze as I make my way to and from my current home to the latest place I have chosen in which to move my body and stabilize my nervous system. The cooler temperatures and the curling up of the blossoms that have had their summer place in the sun.
Fall is here and with it comes a time of reflection; a pause to give thanks for all that has brought me here to this current time and place; in my most recent iteration. As I sit in bed with my laptop on my knees, the comforter easing the shift into autumn, my latest charge Zoey, a sweet black cat with a long fluffy tail, curls up on my inside out red sweatshirt just out of reach of my fingers, who are otherwise occupied bringing thoughts to paper to share with you.
A wash in natural beauty .. Photo by Sandra Butel
Gratitude is a practice
Gratitude has played an on and off role in my personal practices for many years now. There was a time when I was engaged in daily gratitude posts to social media, part of my effort to shift the balance of people’s feeds from negative to positive in any way I was able. It was such an enriching way to start my day by pausing to pick a photograph that I had taken in the days before and add in some words of thanks for anything from time spent with a friend, to the creaminess of my morning coffee, to the strength of my legs that would carry me where I wanted to go. The more I carried on this practice the easier it was to find things to be grateful for and on some days the flow of my pen went on and on. The mere practice of taking a few moments every day to write something short and sweet about what I was grateful for ended up having a profound impact on me. The process of sharing it with others was the bonus icing on the already pretty yummy cake.
There was a time when I shifted my focus away from social media and towards a more personal practice of gratitude journalling right before bed. This moment of quiet with my latest journal and my favourite pen gave me one last opportunity to shift my mind to a positive place before entering the wild world of sleep and dreams. I gave thanks each evening in written form for the people, the places and the shifts in perspective that had visited with me throughout the day. I didn’t really understand the why of it at the time but I knew for certain that I felt so much better after reflecting on what little things I could find in my day, no matter how hard it had been, to express my thanks about.
Nightly gratitude sets our minds to wander
towards the discovery of the wonder
that awakens us
a smile on our face
into the rose tinged light of morning
Sandra Be
Science says …
Years later in my coaching and personal studies I came across brain science to explain why this practice has brought me such joy. Research shows that the more gratitude we show for what is going on in our lives the more we are prepared to see things to be grateful for. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy kind of thing. If you think you are going to find things to be thankful for chances are better that you will find them than if you think you are only going to experience and see things to be upset about. And, the fight, flight, freeze, fawn system of our lizard brains is ready, willing and able to notify us of every little damn thing that there is to be upset about.
I did a little research and found some great articles about the scientifically proven effects of gratitude. I won’t repeat all that they said here except to say that I have experienced all 5 of the positive impacts of gratitude that are outlined in, “The Science of Gratitude and How it can affect your brain,“ presented on calm.com.
1. Gratitude has been shown to boost the neurotransmitters of dopamine and serotonin and is thus a sure fire way to make us feel better than before. The effect is not just momentary and the impact of continued gratitude practice has been shown to result in long-term increases in these “feel good” chemicals.
2. Gratitude can help to regulate our stress by decreasing the levels of cortisol in our blood and leaving us feeling less anxiety and more well being.
3. Being grateful leads to a mindset of finding even more to be grateful for.
4. Gratitude also has a positive impact on neuro-plasticity, the fascinating potential that we carry around in our amazing brains to build neural pathways around the things that can and will make us happier and more at ease in our lives.
5. Gratitude can help us make better choices by improving the function of our pre-frontal cortex, that area of the brain that regulates decision-making, empathy and emotional regulation.
The article goes on to outline 13 benefits of gratitude practice that include: positive thinking, improved mood, better relationships, better sleep, less stress, more resilience, increased self-esteem, better mental clarity and focus, better heart health, a boosted immune system, reduced pain, enhanced empathy, and enhanced social connectivity.
Not bad for a little bit of giving thanks.
Buy yourself the flowers ... Photo by Sandra Butel
It is time for me to give thanks.
What follows is the extremely abridged version of what I am grateful for, because once my gratitude faucet has been opened, it could fill every bucket within a 100 km radius. As what I am aiming for here is just enough for a thirst quenching Thanksgiving toast, I am going to limit myself to gratitude for today only.
The People
My day started with a flood of gratitude for my partner and love of my life Francis Marchildon, who celebrated his 57th birthday today. I have experienced so many amazing moments with this stellar human and I am looking forward to many more as we embark on a new time of creativity and adventures together. I am thankful for his patience, his kindness, his loyalty, his keen intelligence and goofy sense of humour and the loving way he leans into the moments we have to spend together as a family. The morning started with a video call with him and our son Nico and me and there was so much love it filled the screen to bursting.
I am grateful for the smile and nod from the female bus driver who drove me most of the way to the warm and welcoming Pilates studio located in an old factory in the Saint-Henri area of Montreal. My gratitude extends to the moment of connection that was experienced at the end of the class between one prairie born and raised 50+ year old Sandra and another.
An overseas call with my dear friend Louise, who is currently in Italy, navigating foreign bureaucracy and language to get her Italian citizenship, left me feeling so full of love and gratitude for this lovely human’s presence in my life. We had a chat and a laugh and covered topics from the magic of the number 33, to the similarity of our current paths in life as we leave one home and build another, to the coolness of the nights and the shortening of the days.
Not a person per se, but a being whose presence adds so much for me to be thankful for, I am grateful for the warmth of my new dear cat friend Zoey, whose curiosity and tenacity and soft soft fur lends to my adventure a calming sense of home. She is currently investigating another nook and cranny where she can find a bit of fun before hiding herself away for a bit of a time out.
My new friend, Zoey Photo by Sandra Butel
The Things
I am grateful for the pillow that is supporting me as I write this.
I am grateful for the laptop that records my words one little finger stroke at a time.
I am grateful for the oven that heats up to 380 degrees and after the ring of a timer reveals to me a lovely piece of roast salmon and some chewy yet tender roast broccoli for my dining pleasure alongside the Boursin infused fauxtatoes that are such a cozy treat.
I am grateful for the ring of the doorbell that indicates to me that my book club book has arrived.
I am grateful for the community pool that is 1/2 block away from my house and that welcomes me free of charge for a kick of my feet and a pull of my arms as I move my body over and under the water.
I am grateful to be able to see the beauty of the trees, their arms spread wide with colour, their leaves ready for the leaving.
The Experiences
I am grateful for the opportunity to try out a Jump Reformer class at Moving Just Fine Studio as a low impact way to extend my legs and lift my spirits.
I am grateful for my morning writing practice and for all the craft that I can see sneaking in quietly to join me in the room in which my words are gathering day after day.
I am grateful for the opportunity I have been given to get into my role as a TrustedHouseSitter once again. To lean into the spaces that others have filled with their love and attention and fill myself with all the care that has been given within the latest walls, ceiling, floorboards, and windows that serve as the latest roof over my head.
I am grateful for this practice of gratitude for it has taken me from a place of late afternoon low mood to an early evening with a dimple and a smile on my cheeks. I am grateful to have been able to remind myself how simple it can be to get my spirits lifted up once again. Simple yes … but definitely not easy.
I am grateful for any and all of the eyes and hearts that will read the words that I have written and am full of thanks for all that has come before that allows me the time and space for exploration and inspiration.
Thanksgiving.
Giving thanks.
Thanks for giving.
I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk. What’s yours?
Giving thanks. Photo by Sandra Butel
Resources for Further Study and Personal Growth
My latest adventures have me trying my hand (and back and hips and legs and arms) at some Pilates. I found a lovely spot at Moving Just Fine Studio in the Saint-Henri area of Montreal. I highly recommend giving both their reformer and mat pilates classes a try. They have a newcomer special that lets you try out each class before you commit to a longer membership.
For further gratitude practice you can download the audio version of Pema Chodron’s book, “Be Grateful to Everyone” or make your way through a whole collection of Ted Talks about gratitude that has been curated by Psychology Today.
My offering as Coach Sandra is to listen and be open as we co-create a space where you are seen, heard and understood. I can help you to brainstorm your own gratitude practice as we lean into the comfort of a one on one coaching relationship. With my deepest gratitude for the power of coaching to bring more joy to both coach and coachee, I am thankful to be able to offer you an hour long free beautywalk session.
My program From Worry to Worthy offers you an opportunity to move yourself from being ruled by the lizard brain to being guided by the wizard brain. Check out the full program details and book your first free session with me to get started. Friends and Family discount applied to all newsletter subscribers and your friends and family too! I am open to creative barter offers as part of my dedication to the advancement of the moneyless share economy.
If you are interested in signing up for TrustedHouseSitters you can get a 25% discount (as well as pass on 2 free months of membership to me in the process).
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