Pedi-Cure
My Own Two Feet Photo by Sandra Butel
I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk.
beautywalk is an internal and external voyage complete with roadblocks and gravel paths and many, many steps.
beautywalk for me, is a place of refuge and authenticity and learning as I make my way through the trials, tribulations and awesome wonder and joy of life in my all too human form.
Montreal, July 26th, 2024
As I take my seat in the burgundy pleather massage chair at Ongles Montreal on rue Monkland in the Notre Dame de Grace neighbourhood of Montreal, I can’t help but reflect back on the times over the last 10 years I have readied myself to place my feet in warm water and let the magic of this little rare indulgence begin.
Tender Tootsies Photo by Sandra Butel
Pedi-Party
The first time I tried this pampering process was in downtown Regina where I found myself on 3 or 4 occasions side by side with another of the rare female heads of an arts organization in “The City that Rhymes with Fun”. In my efforts to push forth an agenda of more puns more of the time, I had nicknamed our time together as a “Pedi-Party”; an opportunity to speak with someone else who understood the challenges we were facing in our day to day work lives in the non-profit world that we had come to call our own. This tongue in cheek naming was my offering to her to enter into a safe space of camaraderie and connection as we leaned back in our leather chairs and took a load off.
The massage chair working diligently underneath our backs and bottoms, we shared our insights and questions about all of the aspects of our demanding and pressure laden positions. The hands of the technician drew me from time to time out of our focused conversation and into the sensation of soft hands rubbing and scraping at the build up of rough skin where my size 8.5 feet pushed up against the sides and back of the variety of shoes that I had been wearing. Many miles had been walked and many metaphorical mountains had been climbed and my feet sighed in relief at this much needed moment of respite and care.
Tinkles of laughter rang out from the collection of Vietnamese and Thai speaking workers who bantered back and forth from their various crouching positions beneath us and the other clients they were serving. The words rolled past my ears, tickling the hairs and signaling to my brain to pay attention. For a brief moment in time I considered the lives of these women, where they might be from and what had brought them here to this city and this point in time. As quickly as the thought arose in my adrenalin addicted brain, it dissipated into a puff of smoke as I turned myself back to my companion and to the jobs that filled up 99% of the space in my brain.
Press Paws
Our hour spent together getting our toenails tended to was a communion of sorts; a place where we could go to take a breath and find safety from the “full on” pressures of non-profit stewardship. At the end of our time together, whether in winter, summer or fall, we would giggle as we walked out the door with our temporary flip flops that allowed for our painted nails to dry.
Birthday Treat for the feet
Fast forward back to today and the cashing in of my birthday treat from my sister in law, Solange. How different I feel in this place and time and how much more space I have in my heart and mind for observation and reflection. As I place my feet inside the plastic bag lined tub of warm water and I settle into the middle seat in a line of 6 identical specially designed chairs my heart flushes with love and gratitude.
To my left I can see the salon window with its red neon lettered “ONGLES” and the smaller green “NAILS” beneath it, most of its neon burned away long ago. There is a golden kitty, complete with the regal red collar and a smaller white buddy beside waving their left arms back and forth, back and forth on the window ledge below. As I focus my energy and attention on the motion of their arms I notice that sometimes, for just a moment, the speed and intensity of their attention seeking arms syncs up. The rest of the time the little one works hard to catch up to its older, bigger and brighter sibling, its gaze slightly turned to check on its progress.
Mother of the Groom
The rain and wind take a pause from their whipping of the greenery of the street beyond and the force of the sun turns the wet asphalt into a brightly lit runway, directing the one way traffic from west to east. The woman beside me, also getting a pedicure, softly speaks to the nail technician saying, “My son is getting married on Saturday, so I am getting my nails done.” There is no reply from the woman at her feet, focused as she is on shaping toenails and removing stray cuticles on the current set of feet under her care. It takes me two tries for the mother of the groom to pick up on my congratulations. Her face opens up into a shy smile when I add, “How old is your son?”. To her reply of “38” she adds, “But they have been together a long time and already have children together.” She adds that her other son has also just gotten engaged, the cat that ate the canary grin on her bare lips.
The door to intimate conversation is open and in heavily accented English the pedicurist asks her about the dress she will be wearing. A phone is pulled out and I squint, my glasses stowed away in my bag that is on the floor, just out of reach, to get a glimpse of her floor length bespoke deep blue short sleeved dress. The two women share a moment over the loveliness of the dress, one commenting on how well the chosen shade of creamy pink will go with the dress and the other sighing in contentment at the upcoming nuptials.
Oh Dear! Photo by Sandra Butel
Pink-ies
I look around and notice that of the 3 of us white middle class women who are seated up high in the chairs all of us are choosing to go with a shade of pink for our toesies. Pink has long held such a weight of judgment from me, as I resisted the whole patriarchal dichotomy of “blue is for boys and pink is for girls”. I had convinced myself that I had to stay away from it and that this resistance was somehow balancing the inequalities that were ever present in women’s lives. These days I find that pink draws me in as I make peace with my way of being a woman and I experiment with looks and creative choices to see how it all feels to me. There is a lightness to this process of discovery and I’m intrigued to see what I will find on the other side of each closed door I open.
Steps and Missteps
My eyes fill and my heart aches when my masked caregiver first picks up my foot and starts in on the corns on my big toes and takes the grater to my heels. My feet have been with me all of my life and these last few years have done extra duty as I clock many Hoka supported kilometres on a variety of terrains around the world. There is a sense of softness and love here as this stranger gently applies herself to releasing the aches and roughness that has accumulated from all of the steps and missteps I have taken over the last few years as I move over time and space on my beautywalk.
Ceci n’est pas une pipe … Photo by Sandra Butel
We are all doing our best
The giggles and quick volley of words amongst the workers lifts my gaze up to take in all of the energy that swirls about this room. My sense of curiosity and deep love for these women who have travelled far, just like me, to make their ways to this particular place and time burns brightly in my heart. I take a deep breath and drink all of it in; the sights, the sounds, the smells, the sensations of the room in which I find myself at this moment. I wonder about the life choices, opportunities and circumstances, inside and outside of their control, that have brought these women here to this city and to this particular way of bringing in income for themselves and their families. I feel my gut fill up with a deep sense of belonging; that deep human need that we are all searching for in our lives. While their particular stories may be hidden behind their precautionary masks and our differing mother tongues, I have such a sense of surety that we are not so different from one another after all. We are each doing our best to travel the path that has been laid out in front of us, our manicured toenails heralding the coming of brighter and more colourful days ahead.
Pedi-Cure
Today’s Pedi-Cure has taken me outside of my individual story and brought me into the realm of the human story. I am open and ready and curious for what will come next. I am grateful for all that the steps I have taken to get to the here and now and recognizant of all those hands that have eased the aches and pains in my body, mind and spirit along the way.
May all beings be at peace. May all beings accept the reality of what is and may we find the strength together to do what we can to make the next steps more gentle and grounded as we move in love for ourselves and for the earth.
This is Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk. What’s yours?
Footnote Photo by Sandra Butel
Resources for Further Study and Personal Growth
My offering as Coach Sandra is to listen and be open as we co-create a space where you are seen, heard and understood. If this sounds interesting to you please do not hesitate to reach out to chat about how we might best work together on making your life a little bit more the way you want it to be. Sign up for a free beautywalk session.
My program From Worry to Worthy offers you an opportunity to investigate your own internal experience of the negative voices inside your head and help you to find ways to connect to the deeper truths of your own heart. Check out the full program details and book your first free session with me to get started. Friends and Family discount applied to all newsletter subscribers and your friends and family too!
If you are interested in signing up for TrustedHouseSitters you can get a 25% discount (as well as pass on 2 free months of membership to me in the process).
Share this newsletter with others by clicking the icons below: