Pause for Reflection
That is the question … Photo by Sandra Butel
I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk.
beautywalk is an internal and external voyage complete with roadblocks and gravel paths and time lying down on our backs under the beauty of a tree.
beautywalk for me, is a place of refuge and authenticity and learning as I make my way through the trials, tribulations and awesome wonder and joy of life in my all too human form.
Clash Slash Photo by Sandra Butel
The Writing Process
As I get deeper and deeper into the process of writing a memoir about my recent lived experiences I am realizing many things, including:
Writing a book is hard. It will require me to develop determination, good writing habits, the courage to be authentic and will be the result of many hours of thought and work and determination on my part.
Writing a memoir will require me to share intimate details of the often painful, transformative events that have had a huge impact on my life and on the lives of those around me.
Writing a memoir will require me to present a narrative of past events that is truthful and vulnerable while ensuring I have the supports in place to keep me from getting sucked back into the painful parts.
Writing a memoir will require me to build a narrative over time and the level of emotionality that will be shared will have to fit within the context of what has been shared before.
Writing a memoir requires that I fully embrace the concept of the ugly first draft, or as Anne Lamott calls it “The Child’s Draft”. This means me being open to writing a bad book in the first go and just getting it all down on paper in any way that I can. Editing as I go along will prevent me from getting into a writing flow as I get caught up the drive for perfection over process.
Not all of my writing deserves to see its name in print. Most of the work that I will put into the making of this book will be in the editing process; where I will work with an editor to determine what makes it into the final version.
Writing can serve as a great form of therapy. I have found such solace in getting my thoughts and feelings down on paper. Not all of my writing is made for others to read.
Figuring out what parts of my personal journey I will share in my book is a process that will take time, a clear head and much consideration.
Thoughts and Paper
I am putting my thoughts down on paper as a way to process what I am thinking and what direction I wish to take next on my writing journey.
I am struggling at the moment to not only figure out what parts of my story to tell in the book, but also with what purpose my blog will serve as I delve into the more sticky and painful parts of my story with the RFF. I have shared quite a few details in the last few posts about my writing journey and have also been vulnerably transparent about the struggles I am having as I wean myself off of the anti-depressant I have been on for many years. While I believe that sharing vulnerably is a way to allow others to do so as well, I also am aware that I have a fuller story to tell and that the memoir may be the better home for certain details to be shared.
Indigenous Lives Matter. Photo by Sandra Butel
Time Flies!
I counted it out on my fingers today and it has been 18 months since I published the first edition of my beautywalk blog. What a trip it has been! I am astounded at how much I have learned and how much easier this has all become. I remember the first steps and all the nervous energy that went into figuring out, “how the hell do I make a blog anyways?”
I have had so much fun reflecting and writing and sharing my journey with all of you. I am especially thankful for the inimitable Awelana Akeriwe who has been there with me every step of the way and have such deep love and gratitude for my partner Francis Marchildon for all his editing and encouraging. I am also grateful for all of you that took the time to send me little messages of thanks or encouragement with comments on what parts of my latest efforts had touched your heart or made you think or challenged you.
Thank you thank you thank you.
And now?
I am going to give it some thought and will return in 2 weeks with a clearer idea of what the purpose of my blog will be going forward. Today’s post is a place holder; a marking of the shift in thinking and purpose that I am feeling in my everyday writing.
The purpose of posting today is also so that I keep my promise to myself and to you - the dear readers who have come along with me for the ride.
I have found this online space such a gift and an invaluable part of my personal beautywalk journey. Scheduling this in to my bi-weekly calendar has brought with it the flow and ease of habit, thus requiring much less self-control and effort to write and edit and add in images and anecdotes and quotes from books I am reading to share with all of you.
I have a chat scheduled today with Awelana, the dear friend and colleague who helped me get over all the technical and self-doubt parts of this undertaking and the topic of conversation is:
What if any changes need to happen to the blog now that I am immersed into the dedicated process of working on the book?
What need does the blog fill for myself and my readers going forward?
What fits in and what does not and how do I easily recognize the difference?
Windows out and in Photo by Sandra Butel
Invitation to Collaborate
If you have any insights to share with me about the nature of the blog and what purpose it could serve for you going forward, please do not hesitate to reach out with your thoughts.
I am open to ideas and to creating a brand new way of doing things. I am also open to topics you have been hoping I would delve into in the future.
This is Sandra Butel and this is the current version of my beauty walk. What’s yours?
Reflections on me. Photo by Sandra Butel
Resources for Further Study and Personal Growth
My offering as Coach Sandra is to listen and be open as we co-create a space where you are seen, heard and understood. If this sounds interesting to you please do not hesitate to reach out to chat about how we might best work together on making your life a little bit more the way you want it to be. Sign up for a free beautywalk session.
My new program From Worry to Worthy offers you an opportunity to investigate your own internal experience of the negative voices inside your head and help you to find ways to connect to the deeper truths of your own heart. Check out the full program details and book your first free session with me to get started. Friends and Family discount applied to all newsletter subscribers and your friends and family too!
If you are interested in signing up for TrustedHouseSitters you can get a 25% discount (as well as pass on 2 free months of membership to me in the process).
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