Reflections on duality - how balance brings happiness
Life and death photo by Sandra Butel
I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk.
beautywalk is about getting outside of myself and into the world around me, with ever changing scenery to see what I can learn about my innermost self and about other human beings in the process. It is my effort to reach into something deeper than the everyday and to share the depth of what I find with other people.
Two by two
The duality of such things as life and death, nature and nurture, push and pull, lost and found, young and old, doing and being was twirling around in my head as I walked the two dogs, Mildred and Fanny. Mildred is a 13 year old that gets easily winded, but still manages to show eagerness as she pulls on her lead to resist moving forward. Fanny is an eager 2 year old. She pulls constantly on the leash to investigate new smells and sights. I can sense her pure joy as she moves her supple and sleek body through the long grass between the century old gravestones and the dappled shade that is the interplay amongst trees, clouds and sun.
I shared a moment of connection with an old white haired man who was making his way on a “walk” on his motorized scooter, his dog Oscar pulling forward on the lead. When Oscar saw Mildred and Fanny, he froze in place as the stare down began. I told him that this one, nodding my head at Fanny, as I was still not ready to say her name aloud to strangers given the British connotation, “was not good with other dogs”. He nodded his head in understanding and said, “I have been talking to those buried here”. He paused and then said, “Truly, I have been sending them my message of ‘may you rest in peace’, as I make my way amongst the gravestones.” He made a little laugh and said, “I suppose it won’t be too long before I am joining them myself”. I paused for a moment to let the statement have its due and replied, “Yes, we are all going to end up here and none of us knows when or how.” He agreed with a shrug of his shoulders and called on Oscar to carry on, wishing me a lovely day on his slow roll away from me. My photographer’s heart yearned to capture the beauty of this snow haired man in his rolling chair against the background of stone headstones and long grasses bronzed in the morning sun. My need to capture this image in all its shapes and story lines was denied by the steady pull of Fanny’s full body weight as she lunged towards the smaller dog and prepared herself for barking and snarling and generally not very friendly behaviour.
Two by Two Photo by Sandra Butel
Between life and death
Here I am, perched on the edge, balanced between life and death; where the knowledge and fact of the unavoidable reality of my own demise has me opening myself completely to all the beauty in the world around me. In an effort to avoid the next dog walker and his two dogs, who were themselves straining at their leads, I turned onto a wooded path that led into fields of tall grasses that were interspersed with the most vibrant mix of reds and purples and yellows and whites. My heart filled with gratitude as I said with barely contained tears “Thank you, Thank you, Thank you”. I wondered who I was speaking to here? To myself? To the universe? To the people of the town of Beccles who have determined that bees and birds need homes and that leaving the grasses long is a way to provide them with the habitat they need?
Thank you thank you thank you by Sandra Butel
Beauty of spirit
Some might interpret my gratitude as a message to God, whatever their concept of that might be. I do not use the word God myself, as the ideas that were transmitted to me about God throughout my life just did not and do not ring true for me. I have, in recent years, come to feel a connection to those who do speak of God as the one who grants wishes and who is there offering up so much to human beings, his beloved peoples. I used to have such a negative reaction to those who were religious, mostly because of all the evil that religious systems have wrought on those who are not white, male, Anglosaxon and Christian. The treatment of Canada’s native peoples is one clear example of how religion can be used to spread evil and hatred and fear into the world. I used to get caught up in my own judgment of those who believed in this concept of a male all seeing God and ended up pushing them away with as much force as I could muster from my inner circle.
In my gradual awakening of the last few years I have found that I no longer hold any deeply held beliefs about the rights or wrongs of individuals’ religious beliefs. I find myself open to others’ beliefs about spirituality and religion. When I focus attention on the person that is seated in front of me (whether via a screen or not), I can see the source of their deep love and their desire to live up to ideals that reflect their inner values. I am in awe of the beauty of their spirits - and what they choose to call that energy and connection is of no consequence to my understanding of who they are deep inside.
Sacred photo by Sandra Butel
Goosebumps tell the truth
This letting go of judging others and accepting the totality of who they are is such a powerful step in getting to know and love the world in a more meaningful way and has opened me up to many deeply powerful connections with others. I am beginning to approach others with more curiosity, and less judgment. Instead, I am leaning into curiosity. I ask them questions about themselves, with the intention of encouraging them to reflect and to touch the depth of what really matters to them. I wait for the moments where their answers resonate so deeply with my being that I feel goosebumps. They rise up slowly like a cool flush, starting at my feet and travelling all the way up to my arms and shoulders and into my cheeks.
MUM by Sandra Butel
Being okay with what is
In that cemetery, with the dogs pulling me in opposing directions, it struck me how we must all remember to embrace both life and death, nature and nurture, doing and being, youth and old age. If we are able to accept both the push and the pull of the leads wrapped around our hands, and allow ourselves to be simultaneously lost and found, we will find a place of true peace and ease. This place is often referred to as equanimity by spiritual teachers, this ability to be with whatever is in the moment and neither grasping at it nor pushing it away. I believe it is the true key to happiness and fulfillment in our lives.
Gravestones and grasses by Sandra Butel
Invitation to contemplation
What are you holding onto that is wrecking your peace?
What are you pushing away as undesirable or unwanted?
What one step could you take today to bring more of this balanced place of equanimity into your life?
I am Sandra Butel and this is my beautywalk. What’s yours?
If any of my beautywalk resonates with you and you are ready to find your own place of balance between push and pull please do not hesitate to reach out to schedule a free beautywalk session
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